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Wednesday, 20 September 2017

The confessions of a full time singleton..."are you not just really fussy?"

Celebs go dating- can't miss an episode, First Dates- all time fave programme, Love Island- you spot an ever so subtle theme here? 

I mean it's funny really, as for someone who isn't, by my own definition, all that interested or fussed about dating and being in a relationship, I'm absolutely obsessed with watching dating shows. Like completely hooked. 

I am just going to warn you: I'm a SERIOUS over sharer- I'm talking super embarrassing level of open and honest here. I'll think nothing of explaining every tiny detail- this is me sober by the way, just you think what I'm like after a bottle of wine (actually please don't, it's awful, I have absolutely NO shame.) 

Bodily functions will be discussed on the regular over cocktails, I just don't, deep down I actually do- It's a delayed thing, sort of like a 12 hours later realisation, the shame kicks in the next day and then I just cringe for myself. Why am I like this? 

And I fear that this is what I *may* be about to do when it comes to this blogpost! 

Butttt, moving on to the real topic as I've rambled, confessions of a full time singleton... 

"Are you not just *REALLY FUSSY*?" 

This is the thing, I'm extremely happy with my own company- perhaps a little too happy in fact- unless a man is going to enrich my life by adding more fun, laughter and good times I'm really not going to entertain it. I love dining out, acting like an idiot and holidays, those three things are vital

Not asking too much, right? 

I don't want to ~s e t t l e~ just so that my relationship status can change from single to taken simply for the sake of not wanting to be 'alone'. I'm more than happy to stay single for months upon months rather than the alternative of thinking 'oh this will do'. 

And before you rush to screenshot this and send it to your girls in the whatsapp chat along with 'bloody hell, that Lauren on instagram thinks highly of herself doesn't she' hear me out... It's all about personality and finding someone I can be 100% myself around.

I'm the exact opposite of perfect, heck I couldn't be further from it if I tried, you all now know that over sharing is just *one* of my majorly awful personality traits. I'm also waaay too feisty for my own good but we shan't go into that one today. 

I hate the whole texting all day, texting all night thing- how do you even have time to get anything done? 24/7 texting really isn't for me. Brilliant if you do enjoy a good whatsapp but I can't cope with a man who gets moody if I haven't replied within the hour. Nor would I expect the same back, heck take five hours if you're busy at work- I get it! 

I think that's another reason: I'm not a fan of clingy. 

I guess it's hard to let just anyone into your life when you're SO used to being independent. I know my dislikes, likes, and I also know what makes me laugh until my stomach hurts. Letting down that barrier, and opening up your entire life in order to let someone be a HUGE part of it is scary. 

Maybe that's a little selfish of me, or perhaps going into a relationship should be more carefree and fun than this, I don't know? I always assume that when a person is right for you, you just know. 

...and I definitely don't have these thoughts as I have extremely high standards, I've seen firsthand how life isn't like in the Disney films. Nor have I ever been one of those girls who daydreams and plans 'the dream' wedding on Pinterest. I'm a weird one. 

So right before I do the awful thing of over stepping the line and sharing a little bit too much for the 72737th time- over and out, that's me signed out for the day. 

Edit: I did in fact think to myself throughout the entirety of this blog 'Lauren, you're doing it again, just get yourself a private diary and stop embarrassing yourself babes' that and 'why can't you just be a normal blogger and talk about your new burgundy jacket, homeware or something' y'know something that you aren't going to read back and want to scream 'WHY?' 

^ I haven't a clue why I've chosen to jump ten million miles out of my comfort zone today with this blogpost, I think I'm just after at least one girl to message me saying 'you aren't weird, I feel exactly the same' - pls don't tell me that I'm the one who feels this way towards relationships? 

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