Lauren's Looks

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Monday, 18 April 2016

Dear Diary... Let's have a catch up | The real reason behind my absence in the blogging world

   
You may have noticed that for the past couple of weeks I've completely vanished from the blogging world. It's been so long since I've sat down with a cuppa and attempted to write anything remotely blog related, far too long in fact. And the reason why I know it's been way too long is because the notes section in my phone is overflowing with different blogpost ideas. I mean, come on...that never happens, or at least in my case anyway. 

The truth, plain and simple, is that I simply haven't had the energy to blog. I've missed sharing what I've been up to with you all immensely, but when it takes over an hour to write one sentence it sucks all of the fun out of something you once loved, which is a huge shame. But that's the thing though, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) doesn't care that it's holding you back. 

And I know a few of you will be thinking 'oh she's a drama queen, it's only writing a few paragraphs- what's so hard about that?'. Throw in the inability to find the right words, difficulty concentrating and remembering, and an all round general feeling of mental exhaustion into the mix, then yes...blogging does become impossible. Oh, and that's only scratching the surface when it comes to symptoms- think list as long as your arm!

I'm fully aware that the above paragraph seems really moan-y, and 'woe is me' but I'm rarely honest when it comes to admitting that I'm struggling- in fear of what people may say about me- and that needs to change! Although it's easier to upload a photo of my hot chocolate along with the caption 'relaxing evening'- for example- a much more honest description would be 'I've had an exhausting day and I'm now in absolute agony, on the brink of tears, so this hot chocolate is me trying to cheer myself up'. I can imagine that brutally honest caption would cheer people right up, not!

               

Making out that life is all sunshine and rainbows doesn't bode well, but then neither does sharing every intimate detail either. Share too little and people assume you're now miraculously better, on the flip side, share too much and you come across as a hypochondriac whiner. Can you ever win? No, to put it simply! 

And besides, do people really want to hear everyday that you feel as though even breathing and simply 'living' is far too exhausting for your fragile body? That a quick browse around a few shops- which is considered a day out for you- has left you on the brink of tears because the muscle and nerve pains you're now experiencing as a result are excruciating. I highly doubt so! 

So, to finish on a slightly more upbeat note I would just like to say that whilst I haven't been blogging I've had the most enjoyable few weeks eating out and having girly days with my mum and friends, every now and then when possible- but you'll know that if you follow me on Instagram though. Behind the smile and the 'done up to the nines' appearance it's been a massive struggle to be able to do so, but I can confirm that it's been 100% worth it. 

And on that note, I hope to be back blogging sometime soon. Oh, and how are you lot? I've missed you tremendously. 


Don't forget that you can find me in all of these places too! 



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