Lauren's Looks

Baking | Beauty | Fashion | Chronic illness

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

What I Instagrammed Vs. what was really happening

Why is that everybody's life just looks so damn perfect on Instagram? Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect out for brunch with the girls lifestyle. You know the kinda girl I'm talking about, right? The one who makes you feel sick to the stomach with envy every time she uploads a photo. Sigh. 

Now you'll laugh at this... Somebody left a comment on a random photo of mine saying 'I'm so jealous of your life'. Huh? I'm confused. You're jealous of a girl that's more beans on toast than sushi, a girl that has the energy levels of an eighty year old, and the one that spends every Saturday night in with her mum because, what are friends anyway? Hmm, okay. I'm baffled. 

That's the thing though, Instagram, like all social media, is about presenting all of the better moments that happen in your life. Yep, I could share a photo of myself looking rather unattractive watching tv in my onesie, makeup free, but I'll save you of the horror. Here, have a photo of a few fancy cocktails instead! 

Anyway, to show that there's more behind a photo than you once thought: here's what I'm really doing in all of those 'glam' Instagrams vs. what I shared with you all. 

1.) The domesticated goddess cake snap

What it looks like I'm doing... 

Hey everybody, look at me, I've just whipped up this masterpiece like the true, domestic goddess I really am. Oh, hang on, not everybody spends their afternoons singing along in the kitchen, playing the perfect wife/girlfriend/daughter? Well, shame on them. 

What I'm actually doing/thinking... 

Now, do you want to know what really happened? Yes? Then grab yourself a drink, I'm about to go off onto a cake dilemma tangent. Here goes... It took me bloody hours to make this cake, yes hours. In-between managing to drop it- like the clumsy person I really am- having a mini meltdown, and then almost giving up, because no way should a cake require this much energy/time, I did manage to create this. I enjoyed the whole experience...honestly. 

2.) The fashion blogger shot 

What it looks like I'm doing... 

You know, just casually strutting down the street wearing my most stylish, Pinterest worthy outfit. Yep, definitely model standard, because duh, I look like this everyday... Without multiple filters thrown over the top, obviously. 

What I'm actually doing/thinking... 

In reality, my mum and I sneak off to a quiet street somewhere, iPhone in hand to snap away- definitely no fancy cameras involved. And you can bet that 9/10 of the times when I get home, I'll absolutely hate the photos/the way I look, delete them in a sulk, and then want to cry at the fact I don't look like somebody stunning... I'm talking about you, Michelle Keegen. Oh, and that's without mentioning the fact I get mega embarrassed if somebody catches a glimpse of me posing- cringe. 

3.) The cosy film night photo 

What it looks like I'm doing... 

Don't mind me, just having another really wild night, full of highly calorific junk, cute films, and cosy fairy lights. I really am the Queen of the food, I can eat all of this, almost weekly, and not put on any weight. I bet you're all so jealous! 

What I'm actually doing/thinking... 

Well I hate to burst your bubble but majority of the time I don't even eat half of the food I Instagram. So, to everybody asking for my magic secret on how to eat every bad thing going, and not let it show on your waistline... Pass the cupcakes you made to somebody else, it's a fail proof dieting plan, trust me. Maybe treat yourself to one though, you can't miss out on all of the fun!

4.) The I have a perfect, dreamy life snuggled up on the sofa snap 

What it looks like I'm doing... 

Here I am spending this rainy, gloomy Monday cozied up like a cocoon on the sofa, not a care in the world. I only plan on moving if it's for another cuppa, and the only exercise I'll get today is flicking the switch on the remote to change channels. Perfect. 

What I'm actually doing/thinking... 

I did in-fact fall off the sofa whilst taking this photo, just don't ask me how, because I really have no idea. But hey, let's not add that to the caption, it'll shatter the perfect imagine you have in your head. 

5.) The bubble bath shot

What it looks like I'm doing/thinking... 

How embarrassing that you've just happened to catch me being 'oh so glam' sipping wine, and sitting amongst a mountain of bubbles, in a candlelight bathroom. Because I definitely don't need this in order to chill out. Nope. 

What I'm actually doing... 

Cue blacking out, heart palpitations, and feeling ridiculously dizzy because my body cannot tolerate being even the tiniest bit of heat, and that's not so glamorous. I'm a grandma, I know! 

6.) The 'ultimate selfie'

What it looks like I'm doing... 

Oh hi, just off out for fancy cocktails, and a day of shopping- because why else would I be done up to the nines? I rolled out of bed looking like this, I'm not lying, honest. 

What I'm actually doing/thinking... 

Ten different poses, ninety shots, and half of an hour of carefully choosing the right filter later; here's me off to, wait for it... the supermarket. Got to look good the chocolate aisle, haven't you! 

So, next time when you're sat feeling jealous of somebody's life, based on what they post on Instagram/social media, just remember they could be off to the supermarket, not a fancy bar. Nobodies life is completely perfect. 

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